As I exit the plane at the Seattle airport, I am immediately greeted by a tech from Gray Wolf Ranch who is wearing an ear-to-ear smile and calling me by name. On the two-hour drive to the Ranch, I am impressed by the grandiosity of Washington's rich mountain forests, yet aware that my short time of freedom has come to an end.

When we finally arrive at Gray Wolf Ranch, I'm surprised to see a large house surrounded by woods and landscaping. Definitely nicer than I expected. Inside, I'm greeted by the staff who are understanding of my long journey and seem just as welcoming as the place itself. My paranoid fantasies start to fade - this might not be so bad after all…

They explain their treatment philosophy - each resident has an individualized program based on their specific needs. The staff encourages me to come to them with questions, comments, and even complaints. I settle in easily. The rooms are comfortable, my peers are friendly, and the food is good. Therese the cook is more than happy to accommodate my vegetarian diet. So far this doesn't feel anything like an institution. I feel like a resident, not a number.

I am not shut in my room as I expected. Activities such as bowling and kayaking mix with our daily meetings, jobs, school, chores, and counseling sessions. Five days a week, I work with one of the many artists in Port Townsend.

After two months here, I feel I am getting more focused - not being pushed or molded into recovery, but being given the opportunity to better myself with the guidance and support of my counselors and peers. I look back to my years of addiction and they seem so far away, yet I know that without a commitment to staying clean, relapse is right around the corner. Living at Gray Wolf is helping me to develop the skills and attitudes I need to create a future that won't be sabotaged by addiction.