By Darby Greenway
Certified Mental Health Counselor

The graduation ceremony highlights a passage of time. It marks closure and acknowledges a beginning. Graduation is completion. It means one has accomplished an important phase in a lifelong journey. It is a Rite of Passage.

When a resident of Graywolf completes their length of stay and earns staff approval, the endeavor is acknowledged with a graduation ceremony. This recognition includes a gathering of the Graywolf community, a festive dinner followed by the ceremonial passing and receiving of the Coin. An evening that includes a graduation ceremony usually carries a mixture of excitement, anticipation and the sense of transition that comes when a fellow resident prepares to leave.

As the coin is passed around the room the graduate receives recognition and acknowledgments from staff, residents, and occasionally family members and members of the local community. Often emphasized are the bonds and friendships formed, support given and received. Memories and reflections are shared. Hopes, concerns and a sense of next-phase challenges are offered.

There is usually lots of laughter and wry humor, mixed with the inevitable emotions of leaving what has become an extended family. Stories that echo from the wilderness treks, initial adjustments upon arrival, sharing of their past histories, the inside jokes that only "comrades in early recovery" would know, hopes and plans for the future -- all these accounts touch and move the participants as their community inevitably changes, thus revealing that the sober lifestyle practiced at Graywolf is full of deep connections and life-changing experiences.

To Peter B., Peter L., Chris, and all of the staff at Gray Wolf:

I've waited a long time to write this letter. Today, after I dropped Blake off at the airport (on his way to Port Townsend), I knew it was time. A year ago tomorrow he arrived at Gray Wolf Ranch after 30 days of in-patient treatment. Today he has been sober for one year and one month. He's back in school, has a part-time job, attends AA, has two sponsors, is seeing a counselor, has his driver's license back, and is returning to the sweet, funny, shy, talented, and loving Blake we once knew.

Last March I would not have believed that all of this was possible. After a near-fatal car accident, two arrests, a failed attempt at out-patient treatment, then in-patient treatment, our hopes, dreams, hearts and finances had taken a heavy hit. We had been battling addiction (without knowing it) since Blake was in the 8th grade. Blake heard about Gray Wolf while he was in treatment and decided he wanted to go there. For the first time, he took charge of his own recovery and convinced us that he would make it work. Those of you who know Blake know how much he loves hiking, climbing, camping, and, of course, music. At Gray Wolf he was allowed to pursue his interests while recovering in a community where he felt comfortable. Having Peter Lack as his counselor was an unbelievably good fit. Although change was slow and painful for all of us, Peter included, Blake finally accepted the reality of his illness and made a commitment to stay sober.

After Gray Wolf and a five-week stay at the Wolf's Den, he moved into a house nearby with one of his roommates. All of us thought the move was premature and we decided that he would have to make it on his own financially. As Blake is terrible with money, this was no easy task.

He had a job in July and August but was laid off in September. He decided to take a class at Peninsula College and we agreed to help him with tuition and books. He managed to get to his class (a 40-minute bike ride on a thrift shop bike) twice a week and got an "A". It was a much-needed boost to his self-esteem. He picked up jobs when and where he could, but work was scarce and he was frequently out of money, food, and eventually heat (they went two weeks without propane). At this point his bike was stolen. It was a very stressful and depressing time for all of us but a learning experience for Blake. He stayed sober! Blake was fortunate to have a great sponsor in Port Townsend who was there for him when times were tough. He made a huge difference in Blake's life.

In December, Blake asked if we would still pay for him to return to school in Minnesota. With some reservations and conditions, we agreed to bring him home. Blake has a sponsor here with whom he had stayed in touch; with his help and the help of a new second sponsor (a former roommate from Gray Wolf) Blake was able to make the adjustment here. It wasn't easy. In January, he returned to school at Music Tech College. He is a guitar performance major, loves it there, and is doing very well. He's formed a bluegrass band and is meeting and playing with new musicians. He has finally separated from most of his old band. He's still dealing with legal issues, but as he improves, so will they.

This week is his spring break and Blake wanted to return to Port Townsend. He loves the town and misses the mountains, ocean, and his friends. He misses Gray Wolf, too (though he wouldn't admit that) and all of the people who helped him get his life back. He's very grateful to all of us for giving him another chance. He believes that what he learned and experienced at Gray Wolf changed his life. I do too. Rande and I can't thank you enough for helping Blake.

Sincerely, Blake's Mom and Dad