An Interview With
Alumni, Matt H. By Elizabeth Becker

"Staying here is a struggle. Having a good sponsor is really important. He is your friend, your teacher, and you mentor.

College freshman Matt H. came to Gray Wolf Ranch after completing a 28-day treatment program at Hazelden. He had begun using drugs in eighth grade. "I didn't go to treatment willingly--my parents didn't give me a choice," Matt explains. "I really went just to get them off my back. But I did come to Gray Wolf willingly. I knew that if I went back home without more treatment, I'd just get high again, and go right back to my old patterns of addiction. My stay at Gray Wolf has definitely made me stronger."

"The staff here is terrific. David, Peter, the counselors--they've all been there and they understand what you're going through. They see themselves in you. Kris Kampf is ruthless in telling you what you need to hear and getting you to be honest with yourself." Matt has also had the support of his employer and his AA sponsor. He has worked at the same job since coming to Gray Wolf last fall. His boss--also a recovering alcoholic and drug addict--has been sober for eight years. "He knows exactly how I am," says Matt. "He was just like me." Matt will work full-time this summer before heading back to college in Minneapolis.

"Staying sober is a struggle," he continues. "During treatment, you learn that you just can't do it on your own. Having a good sponsor is really important. Your sponsor is your friend, your teacher, and your mentor. He calls you on stuff. Guides you through the twelve steps. He helps you through the bad times. He's been exactly where you were. My sponsor has been great. He's cool and he's young. I like what he has to say and I've really been able to relate to him."

Asked what he's found most difficult while at Gray Wolf, Matt replies, "Staying out of relationships. And taking an honest look at myself." And what he liked best: "The beauty of this place. Good food, great counseling. Staying sober with the other guys, playing ping-pong, air hockey, golf. And the treks were a good experience for me. I learned a lot of humility. How to rely on other people. Teamwork. And leadership skills. Living at the Wolf's Den has also helped a lot. I never really lived on my own before. This has made me take responsibility for myself--getting up on time, buying food--and learning how to do it sober."

Although he appreciates what Port Townsend has to offer, Matt misses his home in Queens, and wants to eventually return to New York to live and work. But first he will be returning to college to study electrical engineering, planning to follow in his father's footsteps. He'll be attending Augsburg College in Minnesota next fall, where their "step-up" program will help him to meet the challenges of sobriety in a campus setting.

Matt comments, "I want to give myself as much support as possible. Through the step-up program, I'll be living in a dorm with other students who are in recovery." He has been saving his money to help get through the first semester without having to take on a job, allowing him to focus on his studies. He hopes to transfer to Rutgers in New Jersey, where they have a good program in engineering along with good programs in addiction recovery. He'd eventually like to earn a Master's Degree. What is his advice to those who are just starting on the road to recovery? "Hang in there. Don't sell yourself short. Give it a try. You've got to really want this. You've got to surrender."