ROAD TO RECOVERY

by Tyler M

I'm a past resident of Gray Wolf Ranch, and I'm honored that they've asked me to write a letter about my experience there. In a nutshell, Gray Wolf was wonderful. Better than any other treatment center I've been at. I'd recommend it to anybody. But first a brief history. I started "using" when I was 10 or 11. From the age of 15 on, I experienced multiple treatments with minimal sobriety. Until one day, I made the decision that I had had enough, and said to myself, "This is it. I'm not going to do this stuff anymore." I spent the next 3 1/2 months working hard to get straightened out.

I then interviewed at two different halfway houses. But they just didn't do it for me. So my counselor came up with the idea of Gray Wolf Ranch. My father and I flew to Washington to check it out. All I can say is that it felt like home, like grandma and grandpa's house in a way, where they met you at the door with a warm welcome and a dog hiding behind their legs. Here I felt comfortable.

The interview went great, but I was apprehensive about making a commitment to Gray Wolf Ranch. It seemed too much for me to handle. But something drove me to go out there. When I got to the house, I found that I already knew two of the other residents (we had been in inpatient treatment together). That made me feel a little more comfortable. The staff really helped me settle in, too. They're great. They actually care about you, and it shows.

For the first couple of days, I was participating in the assessment process and meeting the staff and residents. When they did let me go out, I wasn't pleased to leave at all, for they put me on a "spot job", doing community volunteer work. I had to go and work for someone for free, so I went and did it. I look back at all the spot jobs I did and feel great that I helped someone. Now I do it on a regular basis where I live. I'm very active in working at the Milwaukee Aids Project. But, back to the subject. For the first month, I did quite a few spot jobs and spent some time in the community. I'd go to the noon AA meeting, work out at the gym, and have time for social activities. At our Friday evening group meetings, we planned out our weekend activities. For me, these included riding a bike, swimming at the beach, going on long walks and having heart-to-heart talks with the other residents, going to Fort Worden State Park, or participating in Gray Wolf's organized weekend activities such as sea kayaking, day hikes, snowboarding, football games, basketball games, and watching videos. You get quite a bit of freedom as long as you do what you're supposed to: do the assignments on your treatment plan, do your chores, be respectful to staff and other residents, and keep up with your responsibilities.

But the best thing about Gray Wolf had to be the treks. I loved them! I saw and experienced a lot of things I'd never experienced before. Like cooking my own food, pitching a tent, and learning how to take care of myself out in the wilderness. Plus, it was a very spiritual experience. I was in the most beautiful country and I saw lots of beautiful things. I was at peace with myself and the world. When I stepped into the woods, my mind went clear of all the stress and problems of everyday life and all I had to worry about was getting to our destination point to set up camp. It was wonderful. When we got back home from the trek, I couldn't wait to go on the next one. The next trek was just as good or better than the first one, yet different. This one was five days in the rain forest and five days on the coast. The coast was beautiful. We hiked right along in the sand. I got to look at the tide pools, go swimming in the ocean, and sit by the campfire. There were challenges, but I overcame them.

Now that I've "graduated" from Gray Wolf Ranch, I take life day by day, staying clean and using the skills I learned there. Like how to handle responsibilities. I'm working two jobs so I can pay off my car and save money. I'm hoping to return to Washington to live, go to school, and get an education. My experience at Gray Wolf Ranch helped me to learn how to deal with everyday struggles and work through my problems as they come along. I still have my bad days, but with the bad also come the good. It's called "life". Thank you Gray Wolf.